Building Self-Compassion One Step At A Time

In this post, let's explore together one step we can take to develop loving kindness to ourselves. 

Many of us have probably heard or been encouraged to utilize self-compassion. But what does it mean and what does it entail? It can be overwhelming to figure out where to begin and how this looks like for you.

Self-compassion involves noticing and acknowledging your suffering and responding with kindness.

To develop self-compassion, I encourage you to begin slowly and with curiosity. 

There are many components to building self-compassion and I will introduce them one blog at a time.

For this week, let's focus on acknowledging our suffering. 

Find a safe space and with intention, notice and acknowledge your pain. Notice the painful thoughts, feelings, emotions, images, urges, and/or memories that are showing up for you in the present moment. The ACE skill from Acceptance and Commitment therapy, introduced in my previous blog, may be helpful with this. Name the thoughts and feelings that are showing up, without judgment. 

Easier said than done, I know. Try not to get hooked by the "problem solving" spiral your mind might be doing. Remind yourself that you do not need to solve anything in the here and now.

You might get caught ruminating on the thoughts and feelings that are showing up, it happens, tell yourself it is okay. Notice where and how these thoughts and feelings are showing up in your body. Remind yourself that this is just your brain trying to protect you from the pain. Take a slow deep breath, unhook, and engage in what you are doing. 

The reasoning behind this practice is to bring awareness to our pain because we cannot work on something we are not aware of. 

This week, we are practicing naming our painful thoughts and feelings, making space for it, sitting with it. Some individuals find it helpful to write these thoughts and feelings in a journal, some individuals find it helpful to just vocalize them in the moment, experiment and see what works for you. 

Practice, take your time, be curious, and most importantly, be kind to yourself. Remember, you are all you need to start the change process. Can you carve out 2 minutes a day for yourself to practice?

Until next time, I wish you well,

Ory